Mummy's Day

Yesterday was mothers' day and it is a day I see everyone celebrating but not me.... I dunno what will my mum look like if she is still alive. I am sad of course but I know after all these years I have to know that she is no longer with me. I wish someone can come up and pat my back and tell me it is ok to miss her because she miss me too. I feel like crying now... I miss her smile, really really miss her smile... Sometimes I still ask myself why she leave me when I still need her so much to be in my life.... I know I should not ask this stupid question because there is a reason why she is not here. I bet didi also misses her alot but we just never never say to each other.